Penance to Patience

          “Well… Shouldn’t it be patience to penance? I mean, we need patience to perform penance, right?” could be a typical question that arises when one reads the title. But, no! There is nothing wrong with the title.

          In my life, I have had varied and interesting experiences which have taught me several important lessons. The most important of them being patience! Several individuals have directly or indirectly had a bearing on my road to achieve patience. The earliest I can remember is a friend in my college who first initiated me onto this journey of seeking.

It was a hot afternoon in Bangalore and a Chemistry Lab was scheduled within the next hour. As was my habit since school days, I had not come prepared for it. In this case, I had not completed my Practical Record and fearing punishment I had decided to do so just before entering the lab. So I sought my friend’s already completed practical record to copy some diagrams. As I began my hasty work I began cribbing about the need for writing practical records for Chemistry Lab which, in all probabilities, I may never refer in my life again or even need in my job. She listened for a couple of minutes to my angry ranting and finally said “Why are you making it so hard for yourself?” I was surprised by that question and asked “What do you mean?” She replied “See, whether you complain or not you MUST DO this work. So why don’t you do it with a smile instead? That way you will not have to suffer more agony than is required in doing this unpleasant work…” It was a profound statement, that! It was more like a revelation to me at that moment. How true! I am not avoiding the work (unpleasant situation) by cribbing and getting angry. Instead I was still doing that and at the same time making it all the more unpleasant for self by getting angry and feeling frustrated. That day, I learnt my first lesson in patience.

Working at a prestigious Indian MNC is definitely a privilege, as most would agree. But then, it too has its share of pain points. Organizations maybe great but not all people in it will be. All is not fair at the highest and best places as many would know by experience. Faced with unpleasant people and situations I would take the defensive approach and retaliate – quite flagrantly. “Such strong and aggressive reactions only worsen the situation. The moment you show a negative emotion, the focus of the listener will shift from the ‘message’ to ‘the way the message is being delivered’; and that defeats your goal of having a constructive discussion. You cannot achieve results from such means…” my friend, mentor and manager advised me. That was the second step of my journey.

Having a baby is not really easy. In my life, I had a demo version – a German Shepherd puppy. As a first time pet owner I was not totally prepared for what a pup can throw at its household in the way of tantrums and mischief. I felt, I was totally unprepared for what unfolded since my pup’s entry into my life and home. Several things changed at once at my home and its inhabitants. I did not know what to do or how to handle the new situation. I just stayed steadfast in my decision and decided to go through with whatever comes. It was a great test of my diplomacy and convictions. After all that I got to keep him at home permanently and what does my beloved puppy do? He dirties the place anytime and anywhere, chews through the furniture, destroys leather items like footwear, belt, etc., seizes toothbrushes, shampoo bottles, ghee bottles, etc. Well the list can go on and on. Who will not get angry when one returns home in the evening to find the costly leather couch at home chewed through by the dog? Well, I don’t know about others, but I did not! Yes, that was a miracle! The immense unselfish love that my pup gave me convinced me that repaying such love is definitely not with anger; but patience. A pup taught me the third and most sustaining lesson of my life in patience.

I have, since long, developed a habit of practicing patience in small ways. I can stand for hours in a queue and still not get frustrated. I can see my pup chew a costly item at home and still smile at him. I can wait for days or months to accomplish my targets and still not panic from reversals. I can stay an entire 2-day weekend at home and still not feel frustrated by it. I, I, I, … All these things begin with “I”. The journey to patience too, begins with “I”. Each person should introspect and understand that patience is a virtue attained not by birth or training but by penance! It is a penance to be observed continuously in life.